I like to think I am a keen observer of life. However I am not always that keen and when I am not, a lesson is always in the pipeline. It would seem that one will keep repeating a particular mistake until they finally learn the lesson in it so as to move on.
I have not written about LOVE in a while and oh wow, I am surprised since this is one of my most favourite topics to think and write about. Well today I thought I would share with you my two cents on a topic that I feel is being impressed in my heart and life right now.
So when we sit down as girls the major topic is about GUYS AND RELATIONSHIPS. It does not matter whether we are in campus or in the corridors of justice. Somehow this topic seems to be the top pick in conversations and does not discriminate the audience.
When we speak of love, it is either in the positive or negative light. If we are not talking about how great your current love is, it is about how terrible he has been lately. These conversations are not unique as we all have our bad and good days in relationships.
The situation however gets PECULIAR when all you seem to talk about or think is how disrespected, belittled, taken for granted and unconsidered you are by the one you call your love not just for a week but for months on end.
At this point it gets interesting as the question that you and your close confidants seem to ask is ‘Why are you staying? ’ The mind always knows what is rational to do yet the biggest mystery for me is how we remain in relationships or places that will lead to our death, sometimes literally.
I used to think the reason was an AMAZING HOPE that your love will change for the better. Not the kind of hope that expects someone to change but the kind that hopes that says one of these days your love will finally, choose you and your relationship wholeheartedly and will do anything to make it work. Hope is an amazing thing but I have come to learn it can be misplaced sometimes.
The other day as I thought about this topic, a TRUTH was impressed in my heart ‘IT IS EITHER YOU ACCEPT THE SITUATION, LIVE WITH IT AND KEEP QUIET OR FINALLY LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK.’
I guess the finality of the statement was the fact that one keeps talking about how bad things are,yet still continue to entertain the same old things they do not want.
It is at this moment I realized the truth of why we stay and the main topic of my blog today.
Think about it, is it really hope that keeps you in that relationship or is it really a LACK OF RESPECT FOR YOURSELF? If you respect your body you will not feed it with junk food to death right? Then why do you allow a relationship that is toxic run you down to the ground?
TRUE LOVE does not destroy, it builds and rebuilds all that is broken within you with an objective to make you a better person and does so without the desire to be paid. It is unconditional.
If this is the case then why do we stay in relationships that are truly hell bound on leaving us dead?
Could it be we fear finding another or think we will never find another?
Could it be that we do not believe we deserve more and so decide to settle on what we can find no matter how bad it is?
Look, we cannot control how others receive us or even choose to love us. We however can choose,who we allow into our lives and what we can take and what we can’t take from them. But this must start by us respecting ourselves first
For each moment we receive less than we should the truth I have come to learn is we are to blame not the other person. If we could have said no to their belittling actions or disrespect they would have never done those things to us in the first place.Remember:
Today decide what you want to do either to stick it out till death and not complain about it OR decide once and for all to do yourself a favour and leave,never looking back.
We don’t have to settle for less,God has more to offer always, we just have to believe it and receive it.
Picture credit:odssey online,Queendom blog ,Pinterest and momgonepaleo.com