How many times in your life do you say ‘yes’ to something or someone when you sincerely want to say no? Think about it.

I thought that the things I said yes to in this life were things I honestly wanted until I sat down to interrogate the things I was saying yes to.

How many times in your life have you said yes to something that you knew you wanted to say no to? Like the last time a friend asked you for a favour and you said yes when you wanted to say no. When your employer asked you do something you were not comfortable with but you said yes anyway. What of the time your love asked you do something that you knew was not what you wanted but you said yes because you didn’t want to disappoint them? What of the million of times your body asks for something that you know is not good yet you say yes? That ice cream, that extra slumber, that wallow, that toxic relationship, that degrading program……..This list can go on end forever.

I am a victim of the word yes. This is even when it is most inconvenient to myself and probably those around me. The devil has an interesting way of attacking us when we say no to someone or something. We immediately are attacked by feelings of guilt for our sincere no. Most times we will find ourselves going back a second later and saying “Alright I will do it but this is the last time” We all know how short lived this is.

Being a yes girl for most of my life I have realized that saying yes to something is saying no to something else. It could be your health, a right spouse, a right job, a right friend, a right value, a right opportunity, a right choice that will guide you to a more fulfilled and purposeful life.

Each time I say yes to a friend when I know it will inconvenience me, I end up being angry at them for asking of me such a request. Truth is the one that I should be mad at is MYSELF. They did not pressure me into making that choice and further, I did not respect myself enough to set a firm boundary to what I can say yes or no to thus guarding my heart.

Saying no truly is setting of boundaries in line with Proverbs 4:23 “Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.” If I say no to a friend asking me to do something that I am not comfortable with morally, I will be guarding my heart from resentment, irritation and corruption of indulging them when I know I shouldn’t.

I understand, it is not easy saying no when you have said yes all your life. Ask me. It is something I am taking tiny steps towards. I am honestly more happy and at peace ever since I started saying a firm no or yes to things that will add value to my life. It is such a liberating feeling to say no to bad opportunities, foods, friendships, relationships and so forth. I am finding more clarity in life as I continue to assert myself.

Now, let me warn you when you start asserting yourself, people will be quick to attack you and most even call you a curse word that I cannot right down here or utter. People expect you to comply and follow what they want and say even if it is at your inconvenience. When you act anything other than that, they will not like it and say nowadays you have changed. Why? You are no longer the convenient easy friend that you have always been. Good time to know who your true friends are.

As usual my life is led by the word of God and when I begun my research into this topic the following verse answered me firmly. This is a verse that is well written in my heart and live by today.

Matthew 5:37 “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.”


This got me thinking, God will not judge me for my firm yes or no but for all my maybe’s and half yes’s and no’s. Mad Deep! It is my humble prayer that if you have been struggling as I have, you will be inspired to make this change to your life  to live a more fulfilling and peaceful life. God bless you all.

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