VISIONS OF MY FATHER

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“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1)

The first time I saw my Father was a surprising day. I had not expected it and did not know it was coming. All I felt was a sense of desire to worship and there in the silence of my room I saw Him. At first I reacted as a normal human would “Aaaaaaaa what is happening here?” in my head though but knew they heard me loud and clear. Papa was like we see Him in the pictures, seated on His big white throne.

It’s funny how my physical eyes claim to see but how clearly I see with them shut. Dear Jesus and Holy Spirit were on my right and left respectively and I looked to them for direction on what to do. They both gracefully lifted their hands toward the Father as they kept looking at me. I have always had a bunch of questions to ask Papa when I saw Him in person but on that day I can tell you, not even one question came to mind. All I could do was just bow low as I looked at my Father whose face I could not see for He was a brilliant light.

Papa has always been in my mind as one who is bigger than ten thousand football fields combined. This is a description of one lady who had an encounter with Him. I have always been so fascinated by Papa. He is the most intriguing being I know. I cannot fathom His power. On that simple day as I ready Psalms 139 ordinarily, Papa invaded my being and so fondly and lovingly started reading out the letter He had written to me long before I was born. I could not help but laugh and continue being intrigued by Him as He read to me. He was humorous enough to finish it off by saying, your loving Father, who is bigger than ten thousand football fields combined. I really laughed. I love the way I feel like a small girl again when I am with Him.

Truly God’s ways are not our ways for the next time I was to see my father I was in for a surprise. I have always prided myself as a fully grown woman. Trust Papa to overturn that view for the next time I was in His presence He turned me to a small child as small as a 3year old child. I believe on this day He wanted me to see how He sees us. I always thought Papa was a bit harsh with us grown ups.On that day He disapproved me. That day I saw people going about their day to day activities on the streets and what a sight it was for every single one of them was a child the ages of 3-5 years old carrying briefcases and doing work as usual. How I wished I could have captured that scene with a camera. That day I saw God’s compassionate heart for His small tiny children. Us.

You can imagine all the other times that followed were I being a child and never again being in His presence as a grown woman. I kind of understand now when parents tell their grown ups children “You will always be my little girl.” Talk about it being put into context. Surely this is how Papa God feels about all of us every day.

I have always loved to run to Him with a problem each time I encounter one and words cannot express how small as a child I feel with Him. My inner child just comes right out. I do not know how to be grown up with Him. Is it just me but my voice also changes as I talk to Him. I love being a child again, it’s so cute and adorable. One name my Father has never ceased to hear, is of one who has always been dear to my heart. One day I went to Him in prayer and started it like a complaint. My eyes were opened to His presence and I saw myself and the gentleman seated on His laps. Guess what? As tiny small babies. The difference is we could talk. I looked up to Him as a child looks up to their father and I started reporting as children do when someone hurts them.

I kept saying “Papa……….but Papa He has hurt my feelings and ………”He looked at me lovingly as I said all this things as the same happened on His side. Hahahahahhaha. What a pretty site. Papa went ahead to tell us He loves us both very much. I loved the sight of us being children on His laps. Such a loving Father He is. How truly precious this times are for me with Him.

A few days prior to my being admitted to the bar as an advocate, I lay in bed twisting and turning telling Papa, I was a bit afraid of the journey ahead of me. I was now no longer a student and my country called me to join the great legal scholars. I asked earnestly within me “What will I tell the judge Papa? What will I say in court?” I was immediately transformed yet again into a baby and saw myself walking in the corridors of justice heading to the courtroom. I had worn the legal attire, the black gown with the white shirt and bid. I had not put on the white wig though. May I say this black gown had been tailored to fit my very small frame as a baby? How humorous Papa is.

I had carried a couple of files on my hand as we usually do. I entered the court room and headed up front to address the judge. Before I could speak I asked again “What do I say Papa?” and as fast as I said so, it is as fast as I saw Jesus Christ, also in a lawyer’s attire stand to my right. Papa then instructed me to do and copy everything Jesus said. I started presenting my speech in court. I copied and said each and every single thing Jesus did, including His hand gestures. Who does not want Jesus Christ as His mentor in court? Luckily He is the greatest of all advocates who ever lived.

Sometimes I don’t have anything to say to Papa and usually just sit in silence as I listen to my downcast heart. In such moments as I wallow in my sadness, I see Him rock my baby crib as I lie in it, Papa feeling sad that I am that low. Other times He picks me up from the crib and holds me on His chest as He rocks me slowly, just as a parent would do their born child. How gentle and kind He is to the lowly and down in spirit.

We all protect our small siblings or nieces and nephews at any chance we get and don’t want them to be afraid, right? Well the same applies to Papa.

One night I was pretty insecure with the night and started thinking of all manner of scary things like ‘what if al shabaab attack us? What if thugs come? What if they enter how will we protect ourselves etc.’ No one can obviously sleep well with such thoughts but eventually I dozed off. Unfortunately some sound in the night woke me and went into panic for having not kept watch and afraid that the moment I had feared had finally arrived. As I lifted my head from pillow with a definite scared look on my face Papa’s voice said at once “Do not be afraid”. I started to laugh. I knew as His Word says in Psalms 121 His gaze is always upon us for He is always watching us. How quickly we forget right? I laughed because I can imagine He had watched my insecurities before I slept and when He saw the sound wake me up, He knew I would be scared and must have also laughed when He said “Do not be afraid, surely I am always watching you”.

As I continue to know and encounter Papa one thing is clear, He loves us all so very much and wants nothing more than to let us know and have a relationship with us. He is always knocking gently in our hearts for us to open up our hearts to Him (Revelations 3:20).  Today if you hear Him, would you kindly let Him in?

“In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste. He shielded him and cared for him; he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft.” Deuteronomy 32:10-11

Picture credit:www.pinterest.com

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