It is easy to come to the end of such a journey and everyone else to assume that everything was fine as one made the journey. This point in time is really the end product of much pain, struggle, disappointments, sorrows and tests of faith. This is the testimony of my life. All glory an honour to God.
The first test I encountered was on the very onset of this journey. Once my University advertised for eligible students to apply for this eligible course, you can imagine I was among the first to arrive at the institution of Higher learning to make my application. What could really go wrong? Is a question I had never asked myself. I had all the qualifications required, only that a few weeks later I learnt things can actually go wrong. I experienced my first heart break in life, not from a man but from the rejection to pursue my dream course. Who knew a school would break one’s heart so bad. See I did not understand how I would not be taken when I had all the qualifications. My heart got shattered when the school’s administrator insisted there was nothing I could do but only make an application in another course. And before my eyes I saw my first test come to pass.
As a Christian I have come to learn all things work together for good for those who love the Lord. If there is one thing you cannot change my mind about is on God’s goodness. He is good in all ways and my heart rested that He knew better and was determined to forge forward. The one who said when the Lord says yes no man can say no, was quite right for the next few days I would experience and see God’s supremacy reign over the devil’s plans to destroy my destiny.
An angel in form of a friend spoke to me on the day I had gone to make my application in a different course. He was quick to tell me head to the director’s office and make an appeal. I did so with no delay wondering whether there was actually hope for me to pursue my law dream. I tell you the Lord is living and alive. Everything worked out perfectly and I saw the Lord God deliver my admission letter to my hands the next week. Now a fun fact about this is, my admission letter was dated the same date all other applicant’s letter’s had been. A date even before my rejection notice had been sent to me. The story goes therefore that once the dust had settled, the corrupt officials would have granted this letter to another student of their choice. I would never have known I had been qualified if the living God had not fought for me personally.
I was happy that finally I could do my dream course and thought the worst was behind me. Or so I thought. The first semester was great until the exams started calling. I knew there was a financial problem going on in my family but I did not know it was that bad to cost me my first semester’s exams. I watched in amazement as all my classmates finished their papers and the school was closed for holiday. I honestly was left in shock not believing what had happened. I had put my trust in God and could not believe this time it had failed me.
If I thought my faith had failed me the first semester, I begun doubting God’s good intentions for my life when in the very next second semester I missed my exams yet again. I seriously was affected by this facts and I even questioned whether all was working against me because I was not meant to be there anyway. I asked God why then He would open a door which would lead me nowhere. I am to be forgiven for I was only reacting honestly.
It’s easy to accept God’s good things but when the bad start rolling in we doubt His goodness. Truly Job was right when he said “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” in Job 2:10.It is true that most of us will like God when He is doing good things but when bad come we start saying He has forsaken us. What we forget in those moments is that He is good and very much aware and walking with us in those situations.
So here I was in school, somewhat illegally in my second year since I was not qualified to proceed for not lack of passing my exams but really having never done any. I even stopped considering myself as a legitimate law student, with my self-esteem shooting to the ground. I considered and contemplated the real possibility of dropping out of school for if I could not make through this next semester then truly there would be no point of being in school.
In the next few weeks I was faced with yet another challenge. The money resource available was enough to cater for one person but not two. To be fair, it was decided that we should split it into two so each would have something. This was not good enough as still we would both miss out. I made a resolve therefore to allow my dear one to proceed as she left me behind. This decision in turn cost me an year out of school through a required academic leave by the administration so that I would catch up and be qualified to move on. I never thought I would remain behind but there I was watching my fellow classmates and friends proceed without me. On that day I remember begging God to allow the earth to open up and swallow me. It never happened as you see I am writing this now.
By the time I was returning back to school the Lord in His goodness was ready to wipe away my tears. As I sat each and every paper that I had missed, some being the toughest papers I had encountered He ensured that not even in one paper did I ever fail. At around the same time we had a miraculous cheque deposit into our school account under our name. The mysterious one who deposited this money has never been known to us but we thanked God anyway for it was His working. The rest of the school semesters the Lord ensured all the balances were cleared through the selfless acts of our family.
I could finally smile and saw light at the end of the tunnel. I finished my education successfully with Honours and awaited to graduate. “Hello, am i speaking to miss Ruth Nzioka?” was the early morning call I received on that cool Monday morning. This was three days to my graduation. “Yes it is “I replied wondering what this was all about. “I am calling from your university and would like to inform you that, you will not be graduating on Friday and your name forwarded to the main school to halt your graduation”
My legs lost it as I fell to the ground as I asked in a very dry voice “What do you mean?” As in this was it? I was done. The devil had pursued me till the last day just to ensure I did not see the light of day in this journey. I immediately rung my big sister and told her to assist me follow up the matter as I couldn’t. I collapsed on the bed as I broke down in tears and asking God what was happening.
As usual it was discovered it was yet another tactic of the devil and I sat on the front row of the graduation ceremony that Friday thanking God as I soaked up the wonderful feeling. My next worry was how I would ever get to the professional and final stage of this journey, the Kenya School of Law. My plan was I work for a couple of years so that I make some money to make my first payment. It is a very expensive school and all I could do was put my trust in the One who had never failed me. The very next January and six months to making of my application to Kenya School of Law, the Lord God provided the means through the very person I had sacrificed for. Isn’t God perfect in all His ways?
My story and journey really is of God’s faithfulness and goodness in my life and that of my family. Our journey really as a family has been based on faith and not by sight. Surely it is true those who place their trust in God shall never be disappointed.
Last Thursday on 31st March 2016,as the Chief Justice of Kenya admitted myself and the other fellow young advocates to the bar, to serve as advocates of the High Court of Kenya, I posed and looked around at our families who had come to our admission ceremony. I could hear various people say, let’s go to so and so’s admission party. I laughed lightly as this to me was a big lie for it really was not about me on that day.
This yet again was God’s party. His celebration. His thanksgiving for it had been all about Him. The perfect truth on that day was is if He, my dear God had been removed from my journey, I would not have been standing before my family and the whole of my nation making that Oath to defend and fight for justice all the days of my life.
God truly has been the essence of my journey, my life, my strength, my hope and my everything.
That day, marked the end of the era of my being a student and the beginning of one as a law professional. In Joshua 1:2 the Lord starts by saying, “I know my servant Moses has died… and jumping to verse 9 of the same chapter the Lord says “Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go”.
If I was then to re-write the words of Joshua chapter one to be specific to me today, they would read something like this “I know my servant Ruth has finished her basic studies. Ruth be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged as you begin the next chapter. Just as I was with you in your studies so shall I be with you in your new professional journey for I know exactly where you are in your life”.
The same God who did it for me is not only ready to do it for you but more than willing to do so in whatever life circumstance you are in.