We have all gone through different situations in our lives that have touched our hearts in one way or another. Some situations touched us a little more deeply than we expected they would, while others went by unnoticed. Some people have been lucky enough to have their wounded hearts healed while others if not most prefer to hide the pain far away in a place where they will not see it again. What most people do not realize is that the hidden pain is only hidden, not erased. There is thus a risk of that hidden pain awakening within you at a future time or being ever present with you.
I am a very enthusiastic individual when it comes to love and I mean love of friends, family and beloved ones. I was once described by a dear friend as a person full of love and compassion. This came from someone who had dared look into my inner man and saw the tender nature of my heart. A tender heart for me has meant having so much love to offer and yet not always receiving the same. It has also meant desiring to be loved with such greatness and anything that fell short an added scar to my heart. It is written to whom much is given much is expected.
I quickly learnt this is not advised and so I put on the visage of a tough girl. This seemed to work in the eyes of everybody else except mine. My heart registered each episode of hurt and pain from my family, friends and beloved ones. Over the years, my heart has taken note of every unfair treatment among the siblings, every missed opportunity of love, every heart break, every break up that forced me to stop loving someone when I still did, every disappointment in one I called friend and so much more. .Each of these times I was forced to mourn each loss. Losses that created new wounds each time.
See my biggest blow in all these events was all I ever wanted was love. To love and to be loved back, sincerely and unconditionally. And yet this remained to be the one thing I would not get. It hurt when people you still loved expressed their end of love and expressed their desire to leave. I did not understand it as all I had within me was more love to offer. In other situations all I wanted to do was to love freely without being judged or ridiculed for it. The other thing i learnt is that everybody left at some point. It didn’t have to be physical. Why do people always leave? At the end of the day one is forced to shy away from loving people as the need for a deep sincere unconditional love may not be understood. I don’t know what your silent wound is but I know this is mine.
As if that is not enough, the wounded heart is received with no understanding. It is not good to show your weaknesses or why make such a big fuss about it? Some friends and family expect you to get over it not understanding you do not have control over your feelings of hurt, pain and loss. Being told or advised to be okay in turn makes you feel ashamed for even giving in to your pain and listening to your wounded heart.
Matters of the heart are best understood by the individual going through the brokenness and God who sees our silent wounds in secret. Silent wounds that we have carried for years. Silent wounds that remain well hidden behind our beautiful smiles and confident strides. Silent wounds that live with us, causing our weeping through the nights. Silent wounds that are so deep no one is even willing to admit them to themselves. Silent wounds that portray our vulnerability. Silent wounds that contain our unspoken truths. Silent wounds that can only be captured by a keen eye in the split seconds of our silence. Silent wounds that can only be called out by the one with the tenderest of hearts, our dear Lord.
I love the way the Lord confronts someone. He comes in the sweetest way. He is quite firm and tough yet so gentle in His ways. He sees our wounded hearts. He sees the pain it causes us. He does not play it down and say be strong, don’t be a sissy. He recognizes it and seeks to walk with us through it. He does not rush us and will not say get over it already.
Today I was awakened by my silent wound that I have come to know well. Such days I don’t feel like saying much in prayer or should I say remain quiet. I feel like hiding from God and so become a busy body to avoid Him. I have never understood why I feel ashamed to appear weak in front of God when He knows all about me. Even in my ignoring tactics with Him, I still find comfort in Him. I sought to know what His thoughts were concerning a wounded heart and how mine and all others can be healed. This is the response I got.
How God deals with people having wounded hearts
Psalms 147:3 ‘He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds’
- God draws us closer to Himself: ‘Psalms 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed; Hebrews 13:5 I will never leave you nor forsake you and 2 Corinthians 6:10 our hearts ache but at the same time have the joy of the Lord.’
- God grieves with us going through the pain with us: we can grieve because we were made in God’s image ‘Isaiah 53:3 Jesus was a man of sorrows, acquainted with bitterest grief. He knew suffering first hand; John 11:35 Jesus wept and Isaiah 61:2-3 He has sent me to comfort all who mourn, to give to those who mourn in Zion joy and gladness instead of grief and a song of praise instead of sorrow.’ Who better to run to than Him. Don’t be in a rush to fix your broken heart. God will fix it.
- God gives us family, friends and church to comfort us: ‘Romans 12:15 …Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. I Thessalonians 5:11 Comfort each other and give each other strength.
Speak to those who you are free to confide in and will not condemn your pain but walk with you even if in silence.
- God uses pain to help us grow: ‘Proverbs 20:30 Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways; Romans 8:28 We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 these troubles are getting us ready for an eternal glory that will make all our troubles seem like nothing. Things that are seen don’t last forever, but things that are not see are eternal…’
God is more interested in our character development for eternity than our short lived comfort. Ask yourself what is God’s purpose for your pain. Could it be that He is trying to get your attention? Is He trying to bring good out of the bad? Is He preparing my character for heaven? Is it an opportunity to grow in Christ’s likeness?
- God uses our pain to help others. God does not waste our pain. Don’t waste your pain use it to help another ‘2 Corinthians 1:4 God comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others with the same comfort we received from Him.’
Psalms 30:5 ‘…weeping may last through the night but joy comes with the morning’
1.God’s view on wounded hearts: How God Can Bless a Broken Heart sermon by Pastor Rick Warren.