Lately I have been quite audacious in my ways. When I am not believing my decisions are the right ones, I am busy saying “Ruth are you crazy?” The other day I had to make one of my first serious career decisions. Oh my goodness, I can’t believe how grown up I am. So there I was with my Contract in hand and have to make that big decision ‘to sign or not to sign’ Hmmmmmm. Who knew making a decision as such would be a mind boggling, sweating affair?
TWO WEEKS EARLIER….
Having finished my mandatory law school requirements program, I expectantly re-applied to the law firm that I had been in to continue working as a legal assistant as I wait for my much awaited admission to the Bar. The partners of the firm gladly accepted my application, pending the contract terms off course.
Excited as I received this news, I ran straight to Papa God and told Him of the same. I by now knew there is nothing impossible with Him and I dare ask for more from Him. Not being one not make decisions without involving Him I sought His will in the matter as I made my heart’s desire known to Him, reminding Him of His impossible manifestation in our lives.
I further told Him I was not going to settle for less, not because I was not being humble in my beginnings but because I totally trusted Him in offering me abundantly and beyond what I asked. It is with this, just as Jonathan with His armor boy in the book of 1 Samuel 14:1-15 had dared ask God for victory against the Philistines army that I forged forward with my decision.
As I opened the envelope that contained my contract my heart beat with excitement, more than convinced I would sign it in an instance. I did not have to read the second page before my heart sunk to my feet. The terms were nothing I had expected. The feeling of disappointment engulfed me as I saw the dilemma that unfolded before my eyes.
The voice of reason said, “Think about it Ruth, you need the experience and anyway you can look for another job as you wait.” “Where is my faith in that?” I asked as I looked to the other side and heard the voice of faith say “Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit (Jeremiah 17:7-8.”I asked quietly “Really?”
Papa saw the major dilemma in my heart and still looked unto me with love. He saw how much I wanted to take the job for its what I saw not what He spoke of that I had not seen. Being as loving and non-judgmental as He is, He calmly asked my twin sister to let me know that if I decided to take the job, He would still bless me even in the small acts of faithfulness I displayed in it.
After much sweat and deliberate discussion with my family and fellow learned friends, I knew I had to make the final decision on my own.
On that warm Wednesday morning I made my quiet decision. I decided to trust and believe in God. I chose Him by faith. An audacious decision that saw me believe in things not seen as opposed to that which was right before my eyes. Everyone called me out for my ‘poor decision’ and bad career choice, with one of my brutally Frank friends bluntly saying I had not been focused in my professional decision.
I will not lie, these remarks were well reasoned and obviously reasonable but who ever said God was limited to reason? In any way? He remains to be the only unlimited being His ways. I had to humbly let them know that as much as I respected their truly reasonable thoughts that made sense to me, I preferred to take the hard road and choose God’s way for i rather be a fool for God than a wise man for man.
Maybe it was the right choice, maybe it was the was the wrong one, all I know is I took the leap of faith, choosing to stand for it even when it did not make sense to me, just yet.