I am always strong until I meet weakness. At first when I met weakness, I could not help but be intrigued by its appealing nature. Even the way weakness said “Hello my name is weakness” sounded like music to my ears. Nothing about weakness screamed dangerous. Weakness at this point was stranger to me and as it politely asked “can I have this dance?” I could not help but say yes. It took my hand and danced with me gracefully. I promised myself it would be a onetime thing. One time would not hurt or so I thought.
Weakness though silent in its nature was far wiser than I was. Shame on me for underestimating its wisdom. Having been around in the world for ages, weakness had perfected its art of seduction and knew how to select its victim from the crowd. Long before, weakness approached me, it had sat down and deliberated on the best strategy to approach me. It sat with its team, built up the case profile on me, they got to know me perfectly well and knew I would be strong in everything else except weakness.
Weakness and its team knew they would only be two options, to either give in to my weakness and be its slave or resist and stand firm. Well, it was a gamble but one weakness was willing to take a risk for. I came to learn weakness is a bit cocky and so weakness groomed itself for the day it would approach me.
On the fateful day weakness came to me, we at first flirted a little bit, nothing serious. Weakness was not in a rush and patiently courted me. Each time weakness came around, we danced pleasantly and as surely as weakness had planned, it won my heart gradually. Proud of the achievement, weakness finally moved in and made its kill. It was in that moment that I knew, I had sold my soul to weakness.
I thought weakness was a friend, a love, a comfort, my go to place but on that day I saw weakness for what it really was. A monster. A heartless creature that would stop at nothing to get what it wants. As weakness tied its chain around my neck, it laughed scornfully. It being the 21st Century, the concept of slavery is one that was long done with. On this day however this fact was disapproved, as I knew the days ahead would be spent in slavery.
Each time weakness called, having been robbed of choice, I would only answer. One day weakness called as usual and I went as a sheep is led to a slaughterhouse. I found weakness with a new friend I had never met before. As they chatted fondly, I interrupted and asked “who are you?” They stopped talking and both looked at me, before the friend answered “I am addiction, your new best friend.” Could my life get any more worse?
It’s at this point I knew, it was time to seek help, for I was in deep trouble. I sought help in a manner I knew how, through people. Wrong move. As fast as I disclosed my weakness, is was fast as I ran back to it for by now, it had become my comfort zone. Weakness and addiction were at least loyal to me. They were not judgmental and at least then I didn’t have to be someone I am not. What a twisted world.
When you become a slave to weakness and addiction, your choice is robbed and the only thing you can do is to comply. You cannot save yourself. Only a higher power, who understands our human nature can save us whilst still in our weakness and turn it for our good.
Meeting Jesus changes everything. The words mercy and forgiveness never have a meaning until you meet Him. In all His splendor and Holiness, I let it all out. I did not want to continue living the way I was as it offended the one and only person I loved deeply, my Lord Jesus. Despite knowing the Lord and what He says about a repentant heart, the heavy burden I had carried convinced me nothing I ever did with weakness and addiction could be forgiven. I thank the Lord for He is bigger than my feelings and never forgets or gives up on anyone and is always happy to accept our repentance prayer. Jesus lovingly says “It is already finished.” How happy I was to know that in accordance to Psalms 73:26(kjv) My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.
Today as I wrote this piece, I pondered on the fact that each and every one of us has that one weakness that they seem not to be able to overcome. For others it seems like liberation and freedom are a farfetched dream and want to just give in finally. This blog post is dedicated to the ones still struggling with weakness and addiction. It’s not too late to ask for help and if you feel like you have done that and been there already, there is one to whom weakness and addiction tremble before, our loving Father in heaven and nothing is ever hard or too much for Him. Feel free to take it to Him in prayer.