I love, love and yes i have been a hopeless romantic for the better part of my life. I am its biggest cheerleader. Love can be as sweet and just as sour. As simple and just as tough. There must be a thin line between the good and bad times of love. Most of us have obviously been on both sides of the divide and hence would be in position to share a few lessons on love. Today I would love to share a few of the lessons that I have learnt so far.Feel free to add more.
1.Unconditional love: Love is not enough but sure is the cement that holds the bricks in place in a relationship. Unconditional love is a rare commodity and its value can only be realised in the toughest of times. It’s so easy to love when everything is fine but toughest in the hard times. It’s at this point you learn the truth of your kind of love for only a selfless love that is unconditional can grant you a million chances.
2.Forgiveness: This is a daily dose that should be administered regularly if the love is to keep remaining healthy. No one will seek your forgiveness more than the one you love and funny no one will need it as much as the one you love.
3.Patience: Some people were naturally blessed with this virtue while the rest of us are still to learn how to be patient. Our patience gets worst tested when we have to be so with our love’s flaws, shortcomings, misses and so much more. With patience strapped around us we can stand and be able to overlook those flaws that we can in our own individual capacity handle.
4.Being a fighter not a runner: When times get tough in love most will prefer to run and not fight for their relationship never mind the fact you still love that person. Now let me tell you one thing, when that time comes, come out guns blazing and fight for your love. Any relationship is forever at risk of war. We cannot change that but at least we can be prepared not to give up without a fight when that day comes. When it comes to a relationship, it really is the two of you against the world.
5.Try again If willing: If you are still willing to try again do so as only then will your fight be worthwhile. It is also prudent to respect your partner’s wishes if they actually want to end it there. If however the feeling of giving it another shot is mutual, by all means go ahead and try again. The best things in life are achieved through a relentless fight even when the surrounding circumstances dictate otherwise.
6.Be slow to speak, text, call, Facebook, tweet your love when your emotions are on override, slow to get angry but be quite quick to listen. We learn more and hear the actual words and feelings when we actually listen.
7.No assumptions allowed: Many relationships have been broken because of assumptions of the other and misunderstandings. Never assume anything as things are not always what they seem to be. It is actually never really what you are thinking it is. Better to ask for clarity sake than end a great relationship based on assumptions.
8.Resolve conflict only between the two of you: please please please, do not disclose the details of your relationship conflict to a third party not part of the problem. You can trust people to destroy your relationship faster than the problem at hand. People are quick to help you run other than guide you otherwise. As I have come to learn there are more troublemakers than they are peacemakers. Always seek to reconcile your issues as between the two of you as you know best what you need.
9.Build a true genuine friendship: When you take away the passion, the feelings that tell us we are in love and find nothing you are in trouble. But when you subtract all that and find a friend be happy. It’s in the days the love is reading low that one is able to cash in the friend card. A friend is more understanding than a lover and well in such times one will need a friend more than a lover.
10.Think Phillipians 4:8: When it comes to your thoughts of your love every day, think only what is true, honourable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and worthy of praise, anything short is a distraction of your love for them.
At the end of the day however nothing really ever matters without God. And so this must be the best lesson of love for me so far.None of us can ever love unconditionally, forgive, be patient, fight, try again, be slow to speak, not make assumptions, resolve conflict, build a true friendship, think Philippian’s 4:8 successfully without God. Who better to learn from than the one who is love and creator and sustainer of the institution called marriage?
It is crippling to think of how helpless we are without God in anything yet the best news as God Himself can see anything to its perfect end. In our relationships, if allowed to be the head, He will be the counselor, mediator, fighter, sustainer, advocate, changer of hearts and attitudes, reconciler, the peace, fulfillment, rekindle the love flames, source of unfailing unconditional love………………..In short, He will be our perfect love story.