The ups and downs of love in a letter

one in a billion

My dearest love,

I hope this finds you well. I may not always articulate myself clearly with spoken words however i almost assuredly do when i write and that is why i write to you today. I hope you will be patient enough to read my letter as i tend to be very wordy when i write.

I still remember the first time i met you as if it was just yesterday, to me it has always felt like that. That day was one of those memorable, moments for me. I just loved you since i knew you. I have loved you unconditionally and i have never wanted anything more or less from you. Just you as you are have been perfect in my eyes. Each time i see you i am always happy even if we are not in good terms. In all men you are just the one. No one has ever matched you or even came close. The world disappears each time you are around and i just see you. How i love you.

My heart desire has always been to make you happy. If i am to sacrifice all to see you happy, i will be more than glad to. I remember each time i have gotten opportunities the first think of, is you. How this opportunities sat with you are vital to me as i do not only live for me but for you too. Nothing sincerely seems to be more important to me than your happiness.

Your positive attributes are numerous, the reason that i have fallen in love with you every day. Let me start there. You are one of the greatest men i have met. In the previous paragraph i spoke of i having opportunities. You have also done this for me so many times in your life. I know you have turned down good jobs and opportunities in your thought of me. Thank you for thinking me worthy to do that. I have never taken it for granted. You have fought for us always even when probably i had reached your last nerve. You have never given up on us no matter what the situation was. You have never raised your voice at me or been rude to me. Each time you have always spoken to me in love and reason and if too angry chose to remain quiet.

You have been persistent and resilient with us and each time pursued our relationship. You have always been there for me in my life’s situations and each time i call to ask for your help you never turned me down. You have been kind to me and always lead me to be better. You have been stronger for us than most people would have been. You have been an amazing partner to me in this walk with i being challenged to be a better person. It has been one of those relationships that have not been in vain but those that one carries in their hearts for the positive impact they have been. You have not reduced anything in my life since i met you only added.

In our journey together we have had to grow and learn together along the way. A journey that is indeed mutual to each of us. A journey that sees people compromise a thing or the other so as to reach a middle ground for it is not a competition of selfishness but love. If i stop putting on a particular shoe because you do not like it, it is only my joy to stop for your happiness is more pleasurable to me than anyone or any thing.I realise that in any successful union both have to give up something once in a while for the sake of their relationship not out of inconsideration. If i forego something that will make us better i will not think twice. A united front i can imagine is what has seen many successful relationships remain strong in the face of adversity and maintaining the other as priority.

Love, having unsettled matters between us sends me into turmoil as it’s like we are going around in a circle that’s why i always seek we always solve a conflict when it is staring to brew. It’s not like I do not want you to have a life or even not have friends, please do for true love offers someone freedom not a life sentence. The question however is how do you execute this? When it comes to male and female friends, i ensure the male are known to you and they know your position, not because i report to you all that i do but i don’t want to cause you distress when you keep wondering who i keep talking to. I do this for i care not to make you sad. When your friends both male and female are unknown to me i feel short changed. How am i to feel when i see you chatting constantly with a female who i do not know? I wonder why the secrecy if there is nothing to hide. On such days it may seem am negative and selfish for bringing this matters up but i am not interested at all at being happy alone what good does this do me? I am more concerned with us being happy together.

I do not know what type of a love i have been to you. I do not know what i have contributed in your life since i met you. I do not know if i always make you happy. I do not know if i am your desire and peace. I do not know if you know how much i do care and love you genuinely. I sincerely would do anything for you. I am always eager to make you smile by doing even the most little or silliest of things. These are my thoughts of you every day. I do not know how you receive this. Maybe my excessive care seems uncaring. Maybe my cry to just see you seems whiny. Maybe your being my desire and interest seems too much. Maybe my love for you sometimes is too much. The only thing i can assure you though is this has never come from a selfish place or bad motive but a place full of love that i cannot even measure.

The word of the Lord says that to whom much is given much is expected. Each time i feel the measure that i give you, which is my everything is reciprocated with less or goes unnoticed by you i feel distressed. I say to myself but i have given him me all of me why can’t he give me the same? I feel unfair because i expect just the same from you.

My tears sometimes are usually not from a point of doing less in our relationship but from the point where i know i have given us all that i can give as a person. Each time i feel disappointed by you no matter how small it is to you, to me it is a mountain, i feel cast down, discouraged and  a fool for loving you that much.

Our constant misunderstandings obviously sit in my heart heavily because i sincerely desire a great union for us. I care to know what i can do to make ours a success story. I do not take this lightly because they are not. I do value a great union that will be a great example to all. I know a great thing as that is an expensive investment the reason why i seek to know what to do better and invest more wisely.

Thank you for all and all you have been to me. I really do appreciate everything that you always done for me. Despite the years i have been with you i have never taken any of it for granted.

With love always,

Fair lady.

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