Love,love,love. This must be the most over used word in this planet. Everything always seems to come down to this at the end of the day. At this point i can’t help but look up and smile at God. Thank you for loving us first and always. My colleague at work always tells me that i am a hopeless romantic. I love the way she says it passionately with heavy French accent holding her chest. Hahahaha. I do not know about that but i must admit i believe in true love, not because i am living a fantasy but because it is possible. I know the reality of love is not as we see it on television however i know the real love God created for us is far much better.
Remember the first time you fell in love? Oh wait, remember the events that led to your meeting? Remember the first hello you said to each other? Remember the crazy heart beat you got when you first knew that you loved this person? Remember how clumsy each of you were those first days? I remember all candidly. Sometimes i will just seat back and relive those moment. It was indeed awesome .I have never understood why the first days are usually so intense. It is like full adrenaline rush at its best. All senses and emotions are heightened and nothing seems more perfect than those moments. I remember the goose bumps i would get, the way my heart would as if it wanted to jump out of my chest, the electric spark each time he touched me and how truly i would lose my appetite each time his name or anything about him was mentioned.
A few years down the line and here i am. How do i feel now one may ask? It honestly gets better with time. The feelings though still there are different in that we have gone through fair share of trials and tribulations and all grown up, a journey i would describe as wine is. I thought or was convinced that, years down the line things would be different, as we would have become quite fond and familiar to each other,but no. I still get quite anxious before we meet, get butterflies in my stomach, still shy away when he looks at me intensely, still get a rapid heartbeat when i see him, still melt when he embraces me, still cry each time he gives me a love card and still love him if not more.
The first time i saw him, every other man blurred in my eyes and upon him did i get the perfect focus. It would seem that any time he appears, the rest of the world disappears. He immediately took the keys to my heart and hid them. I am still searching for those keys. I bowed down to the heavy weight called love. The weight ironically was not at all burdensome only a joy to bear. After all these years i still find him the most handsome man, who remains number one in my world. He remains second to none. I have never wanted him to add or deduct anything about himself so that i can love him more. I just love him as he is. A love unconditional above all else.
I write today not to proclaim my love for him in this piece but to share a thought i have discovered about being in love. I used to think that falling in love was fate. I then thought it was just chemistry. Who knew love was actually science? If they had started with this line in school then i would have ended up in a science career. At this moment however, i know otherwise. Being in love i have come to discover is a choice one makes. Think about it, you have met many people in your life who were good and bad, handsome and beautiful, kind and selfish, loving and warm, but you still managed to select the one you are with. You chose to pick this person out of the millions. Over time i have come to learn, making the decision to choose that person is not a one time thing. It is a choice not made once but on a daily basis for the rest of your life.
The truth is every day of our lives we get to meet many different people who make an impression in our hearts in one way or another, making us wonder ‘what if’. This is something that will never cease. It’s just life. However the big question has always been, ‘will you continue choosing that person everyday even as you walk through your life’s journey?’It is not meant to be easy and that’s why people in love keep working and fighting for their love, while guarding their hearts diligently from another who would dare pursue it. A simple ‘i choose you’ everyday is what has defined my being in love.
The harsh reality of life is that things never remain the same and the people we love keep on changing. We risk them turning into a person we do not like or some stranger. We risk them falling out of love with us while we continue loving them. We risk them not choosing us tomorrow as we choose them every day. We risk them opening their hearts to someone else. We risk them taking our love for granted. We risk them finally walking out and never turning back for us. When we love and choose someone, we risk much if not all. But what is life without taking of risks? There can only be two results if we take this risk, either lose it all or gain all. Quite a gamble eh?
They say one of the worst regrets of any human being is never having tried when they had the chance to. It is with this i committed to take this risk .If i lose it all, at least i can be content i tried and can always try again. If i gain it all, oh happy day.