This seems to be an obvious term to many. And one would say “yah yah yah, i know, moving on…”.Just wait one moment, i need you to hear me out. Common sense is after all not so common. Acceptance to me means making peace with the status quo of one’s personal life for the things that they cannot change or not at that moment at least. Please do not get me wrong, i do not mean one is to settle for less with the notion that they are accepting their situation and not do anything about it. This is not so. As i said, it is those things that one cannot change or at least not in that moment. I have always found the serenity prayer amazingly profound and on this day “God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change….”
I have been observing people in the world for some time now, including myself and i have come to learn one thing. We never really accept things as they are. Each time an election is done, people are always quick not to accept the ‘rigged results’ .Would the real winner and loser please stand up, accept the poll results and let’s move on? I guess not, for we always have to go to the courts.
We are forever driven by an unknown passion to ensure we change almost everything we come across, for instance the moment i enter someone’s house i look around and start analysing how i would change that and that and that and that, if i was living in that house. Hahahaha, something so simple yet a reflection of our obsessed nature with lack of acceptance of things as they are.
Lack of acceptance is not always that simple. We are always faced with more serious issues such as relationships with each other. The most common is man-woman. I can bet most of us are guilty of the desire to change our partners. In this case the desire is more intense than need to change other things. Every day you strive to change something about them that you think will make them better. We wish they were more talkative, more romantic, more assertive, more involved in the house chores, drink less, be more helpful with baby, eat more quietly and so much more. The goal is to totally change everything or keep praying it changes for only then will we (as we hope) enjoy our relationship or marriages blissfully and the happy ever after will be realized. This by now we have come to learn is a failing battle for truly only our dear Lord can change a person. Due to lack of acceptance, we end up in constant fights each time saying ‘if only’.
Accepting ourselves as we are has been a never ending war from time in memorial. The world has not known a more difficult war than that of self acceptance. Look, its 2015 and we have never won the war. Despite being made as we are, we have always wanted to look different, convinced that if it were up to us we would have done a greater job.
I am one such victim. I have not always accepted little ol’ me as. It was truly a long battle. Each day as i looked in the mirror, i would tell God, “I don’t like me at all. i wish i can change in so many ways. I sincerely have never accepted me”. I would follow up this by wondering if i would live like this till i die. What a struggle it was. God is such a loving father, in those days,was not judgmental or quick to condemn me for criticizing His creation.
He lovingly reminded me how beautifully and wonderfully He crafted me in His own image, something no human hand would ever do. He wondered why i valued the opinion of another human more than His. In those moments i sat and reasoned with Him as He did with me. He questioned whether if i changed to be what i wanted to be, i would gain more happiness and have the world at my feet. I thought about it and sincerely that would not make me happier. I had seen other girls who i wanted to look like very unhappy, it would not be any different for me. He wondered whether being who i was, then made me any less than what i was meant to be. I said no, i had lived life just like the girls i wanted to look like and thrived better than them even, so no.
He then wondered then exactly why i needed this change so badly. I realized each time someone mentioned a bad comment reflecting on me, i felt a sudden pressure and need to change. It was not really for me but them so the next time they would say something nicer. He told me He loved me just as i was and that He had given me everything i needed to live a full life.
After these deliberations with my loving father, i felt at peace as He released me and allowed me to accept myself just as i am. It is a great feeling of contentment. No words can describe it, the closest that comes to it is ‘i feel free’. Lately, each time someone or the mirror tells me that i am less than what i should be i ask sincerely “Who are you to tell me that am not good enough?”Like seriously, who are you? Who are they?
The other day as we walked with my colleagues, one of them who happens to be slender, mentioned how she would be quite happy if she was a plus size woman. I immediately remembered Anne Bolton, a grandmother who is 47 years old and not aged a day beyond her 20’s, desiring to undergo plastic surgery to get wrinkles to look older. I laughed heartily as i delighted in the comical nature of humans and the irony of life. Sincerely people make my day. My laughter turned to a sad smile for in that moment i realized the other life tragedy ‘it will never be enough’. This life is like chasing the wind.
In our effort to change everything around us for lack of acceptance we are all focussed on one thing, the need to be satisfied. Each time we thought we would be, we suddenly need and want more. We want to get more money, we need to look more prettier, we need to be more slimmer, we need our partner to be more better, we need more time…..a cycle that never ends. This is an aspect of life that we need to accept for we cannot change our insatiable nature.
The Lord never fails to fascinate me in how His very essence and signature is stamped on everything. It is so overwhelmingly evident. In His perfect wisdom yet again, He made it all, be ‘never enough’. He knew nothing and no one would ever be enough, for ENOUGH has never been in a thing or person but it is our Lord, Jesus Christ. He is enough, our everything. It is in our hopeless state of never being satisfied and desiring to know at what point we get enough that we find Him. Our acceptance of Him, into our lives as our personal saviour finally gives us what we have always sought. Satisfaction and contentment.
When He becomes our enough everything else will be enough for us. We will accept people more easily and understand them. A wife/husband will be enough for each other not wanting to find another, while our hearts will calmly accept their flaws as we seek God to change their hearts. Our looks will be enough not wanting to impress the world but our God, a parent will accept their children as they are, our time will be enough as we start living our life’s purpose daily and not fearing to die without doing all we want. It will all be enough.
The decision of acceptance i have come to learn is not a human induced emotion for everything in our nature refuses to accept things as they are, but with the ultimate enough ‘Jesus Christ’, He will grant us the peace, grace and serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can and the wisdom to know the difference.