Random thoughts of a Nairobi Girl

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Life has always been one of my entertaining factors. I always stop sometimes and marvel at the mind boggling nature of everything, even the most silly. That’s why I never get bored when i look around or just sit down to think. The mind as we know it comes up with the craziest thoughts sometimes. Thoughts that we do not often utter, for they are just plain weird. Being a Friday let me let loose and share some of mine as we have a good laugh. Here goes…

1.Ever wondered why sometimes you wake up in the morning and completely have no recollection of what is happening? Here is how it happens to me. I open my eyes slowly and seat up. I look around. I ask myself “Who am i and what is this place?”I have to wait for my head to load this information and then get on with my day.

2.Talking of sleep, where are we really during the night? Like seriously. Are we all still on earth or do we go somewhere else? Don’t tell me we are just on our beds. How do you know? You were asleep too.

3.What happened if you just went in front of some random person and stared like really intensely at them with your eyes wide open without saying anything? Or just start running after them?

4.There is something my twin sister and i normally do when we are together. We turn our eyeballs up (maintaining the head straight) and start turning them from side to side for a while. Try it. It feels nice. Thank me later.

5.Ever wondered how someone else feels like being themselves? I have. I a ask my family and friends (who will not think am weird) this question, like “Naomi how do you feel being Naomi?” And then she will be like “I don’t know, it just feels like…….Naomi!”I laugh because she has not really helped me in any way. I guess there are things that no words can really describe.

6.Why it that people in lifts are always so quiet? This is despite the fact that you are there with a friend or colleague. Next time let’s try to be a bit cheeky and ask this question in that lift full of people. Say something like “Hey guys, why are we all usually so quiet when we are this full in the lift? Just asking?”.

7.Why do people always do things the right way? Like, using a tea spoon to stir tea, why not a knife or your finger (if it is not too hot)using the door to walk in and out, why not use the window sometimes or break through the wall? Change things up sometimes. We all too predictable.

8.Why does it feel so nice when you daydream or fantasize? I must admit sometimes i will take time and do this because it makes me happy. Why not anyway? So i will seat and imagine myself being Angelina Jolie in that action movie and pulling all those cool moves or be Captain America, the girl version. How about earning a million Shillings as my first salary after this period? How about living in a real time love soap opera? How about being the president of the world and standing at that podium and making a powerful speech? It feels nice to dream you should try it some time.

9.Why do we always cook food with onions.How is it the constant factor? What would happen if we did not use it? Would food not be THE food anymore?

10.Ever wondered why grownups are so serious with life? They do not like random jokes or silly acts out of the blues. Don’t look at me. Who tells you i am a grown up? “18 till i die! I don’t know about you.”

11.Why is it that coffins are rectangular in shape? Couldn’t it be a better idea if the coffin was made in that person’s real shape so that if they had a big head then the coffin would look like a lollipop? Right?

12.Why does it always rain water, can’t we have variety at least. Ice cream rain would be nice for a change. We all know there is nothing impossible with God. In fact let me petition heaven right now.

13.Is it true that when we hear thunderstorms its God moving furniture in His house and that the sky is His blanket with small holes due to being worn out?

14. Doesn’t it feel nice when you talk to your best friend or sister with your eyes and facial expressions and they get you? We should have a name for this language. I do not understand why it has not been included in the list of languages of the world.

15. Isn’t it funny how there is always a war between pedestrians and motorists? When i am walking i always throw a mean look at someone driving if they don’t allow me to pass when they is clearly enough space and when i am the one in the car, i always say “these pedestrians are too much”, only to be dropped a few minutes later and aspiring to cross the road and throw that mean look at another driver. What is this war called? Why hasn’t it been recorded in the books of history.

16.Talking about road war, is there a rehab for road rage?

17.Aren’t you all bored of living on land? I mean, how cliché right? I am planning to go live in the sea soon. Feel free to join me.

18.Why is ‘ugali’ (African meal) tasteless? How can it be categorized as food when its neither sugary or salty. I really don’t get it.

19.Why is it that when someone talks to you in a whisper you always respond in a whisper. Upon which you say in a whisper “why are we whispering?”.

20.Why do we have to wear things that are alike? For instance shoes. Why not wear a heel on one and a sandal on another? Would it be so bad if i did so? Who says it’s wrong anyway? I will try it.

21.Isn’t it weird how it’s day right now in Nairobi, while others are sleeping somewhere else? Can’t we just have the same time around the world? Can’t we all just get along with this time thing?

22.We are all looking forward to go to heaven. We will get to live there forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever……………what does this even mean? I can’t wrap my head around the never ending ever. I get dizzy each time i say it.

23.People keep speculating that there are other beings in other planets. But have you ever wondered if we are not really the only ones on earth. Maybe there are other invisible species living amongst us with an organized system just like ours but we just don’t see them and them us?

24.Why is it that when you walk with a friend or loved one the distance is shorter while when you are alone the distance is not only longer but also get tired?

25.Why is it when we writing, our work must be organized as beginning, middle and end. Why not start with the end and end with the middle. How about being random and just leaving the work hanging like…………………………………………………………………..

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Q. What happened if you just went in front of some random person and stared like really intensely at them with your eyes wide open without saying anything? Or just start running after them?
    A. The would run away, probably get you carted-off to Mathare, then become social media stars by recounting the tale of their narrow escape…

    Q. Say something like “Hey guys, why are we all usually so quiet when we are this full in the lift? Just asking?”
    A. Everyone is pre-occupied.
    There’s the guy choosing an appropriate instagram filter for his latest pics.
    There’s the girl checking herself out in the lift mirror.
    There’s the guy checking-out the girl who’s checking herself out.
    There’s the older lady or gentleman wondering just what is wrong with our generation.
    Then there’s you 😀

    Q. Why do people always do things the right way?
    A. Because we’ve lost all the imagination we had as children. Remember when you thought that flowers were for eating instead of smelling?

    Q. Ever wondered why grown-ups are so serious with life?
    A. Refer to the previous question

    Q. Why is it that coffins are rectangular in shape?
    A. Easier work for the carpenter. Angles are easier than curves I think.

    Q. Why does it always rain water?
    A. I think God already knows that some of us are currently struggling with an ice cream addiction. That’s just His way of trying to prevent obesity 😀

    Q. Is it true that when we hear thunderstorms its God moving furniture in His house and that the sky is His blanket with small holes due to being worn out?
    A. I can’t believe that people actually made us believe this when we were children! Pass!!!!

    Q. Doesn’t it feel nice when you talk to your best friend or sister with your eyes and facial expressions and they get you? We should have a name for this language.
    A. Ummm….Body language?

    Q. Talking about road war, is there a rehab for road rage?
    A. Public transportation for like a year. I think such a regimen would change their perspectives.

    Q. Why is ‘ugali’ (African meal) tasteless? How can it be categorized as food when its neither sugary or salty.
    A. A Sudanese girl once asked me this question. I just said that it’s to complement the taste of the stew and whatever else is eaten with Ugali.

    Q. Why is it that when someone talks to you in a whisper you always respond in a whisper. Upon which you say in a whisper “why are we whispering?
    A. Body language again. We tend to subconsciously imitate people’s actions to make them feel more comfortable with us. Sitting when they sit. Eating when they eat. Yawning when they yawn. You get the picture.

    Q. Why not wear a heel on one and a sandal on another? Would it be so bad if i did so? Who says it’s wrong anyway?
    A. Falling is painful. End of story.

    Q. Isn’t it weird how it’s day right now in Nairobi, while others are sleeping somewhere else? Can’t we just have the same time around the world? Can’t we all just get along with this time thing?
    A. I know right! This is probably the reason why we’ve had 2 world wars. Because some leaders were cranky as a result of having been woken-up in the middle of the night to deal with diplomacy.

    Q. We are all looking forward to go to heaven. We will get to live there forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever……………what does this even mean?
    A. I think that when we get there God will make us all become good at maths…then it’ll make sense…

    Q. Maybe there are other invisible species living amongst us with an organized system just like ours but we just don’t see them and them us?
    A. Bacteria

    Q. Why is it that when you walk with a friend or loved one the distance is shorter while when you are alone the distance is not only longer but also get tired?
    A. The theory of relativity

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